Why consult a psychotherapist?

Going to see a "shrink" is not an easy thing to do. Firstly, because it involves acknowledging that you're not well, and becoming aware, at least partially, of a form of psychological malaise, which can be difficult to accept. There's a natural tendency to downplay what isn't a "real illness", to think that things will go away on their own - in short, to presume on one's own strength.

No matter how hard we try to forget the truth, the truth doesn't forget us.

Then there's the fact that you have to accept the idea of getting help from someone you don't know, whereas the natural tendency would be to talk about your difficulties first to those closest to you, your family and friends. And yet, despite their willingness to listen, family and friends are often not the best people to help you. Psychological disorders require objective listening and a certain emotional distance, which family and friends don't have, and which calls for the help of a professional: a psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist or psychoanalyst.

Overcoming these first two hurdles is therefore difficult, but if you're already there, if you've made the decision to go and see "someone", it's a good start.

A frequently heard analogy for the role of the analytical therapist, one that claims authority over process but uncertainty over content, is that of the travel guide. If you're walking through a foreign jungle, you need to be accompanied by someone who knows how to traverse the terrain without running into danger or going round in circles. But the guide doesn't need to know where both parties will emerge from the wilderness; he or she only has the means to make the journey safe.

When to consult?

There are still many misconceptions about consulting a mental health professional. Sometimes perceived as an admission of weakness or madness, consulting a professional is not always easy, and we often wonder what the reason is for making an appointment.

Many people consult a psychologist, psychiatrist or psychoanalyst because they want to evolve, resolve a crisis, or because they feel stuck at some stage in their lives. Others wait until they feel they have no choice but to seek professional help. Some people are afraid to admit that they need help, and only do so under duress or at the insistence of their loved ones or a doctor.

You don't necessarily need to have formulated a precise diagnosis to go to a psychologist's or psychoanalyst's office. The signals you perceive are a very good starting point for determining the help you need.

Who to consult?

One question that arises is what kind of "shrink" to go to: psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist or psychoanalyst. They all have a vocation to treat psychological disorders, but not necessarily exactly the same ones (for example, a patient with severe psychotic disorders must be treated by a psychiatrist), and certainly not in the same way. The difference lies in treatment methods and training.

In the article"How and on what criteria should you choose a shrink?", I explain the differences between mental health professionals, the different forms of psychotherapy and the criteria to consider when choosing between a psychiatrist, a psychologist and a psychoanalyst.

It's important to understand these differences to avoid disappointment from the outset, and the risk of forgoing valuable help. Word-of-mouth and referrals from friends and relatives can be useless if you don't understand the therapeutic scope of the professional you'll be dealing with, and the type of help he or she can provide.

Some psychologists and psychiatrists specialize in eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder or addictions, others in childhood and adolescent disorders, or in relationship problems. Find out more about these specializations before making an appointment.

Beyond the technique used or the training, the most important thing is the therapeutic relationship. This is characterized by the feeling of being listened to, understood, non-judged, safe and confident. This feeling usually becomes apparent in the very first sessions.

What motivates a consultation?

Our personal journeys sometimes lead us to face a variety of difficulties that we can't overcome on our own. These can have an impact on all aspects of daily life. A feeling of blockage or inability to move forward and overcome an ordeal can be a trigger for consultation.

Psychological support may be needed when a traumatic event occurs in your life, such as bereavement, separation, serious illness, professional failure or job loss.

When we feel chronically anxious, stressed or depressed, these feelings can spill over into everyday life, making it particularly uncomfortable to the point of causing difficulties at work, at school or in family and personal life. Sometimes, this can even lead to physical symptoms such as migraines, muscle pain, feelings of suffocation and dizziness.

Relationships with others can sometimes become a source of suffering or conflict. Such situations can arise at work, between close friends or within the family. While relational difficulties usually resolve themselves through dialogue, there are times when a stalemate can set in. Calling in a professional psychologist can help to unlock these situations and re-establish dialogue.

There are many reasons for wanting to make a lasting change in your life. It may be to find meaning in life, or simply to change habits, to alleviate a sense of unease, or to find answers to existential questions. Sometimes, we sense that a malaise has long-standing origins, and we reach a stage in our lives when we need to understand and deal with shadowy areas or recurring issues that haunt us and affect our psychological balance and emotional or social relationships. Many people wish to give meaning to their lives by discovering themselves. The aim is to better understand our inner workings and identity, to discover our limits, and to listen to our desires and expectations. In some cases, this is a way of calming relationships with others. This type of consultation can lead to supportive, psychoanalytic or psychodynamic therapy.

Why ask for help?

Seeking the help of a mental health professional for a psychological problem is just as normal as consulting a doctor when suffering from a physical disorder or medical pathology. Our mental health is just as important as our body, and we are responsible for the choices that condition our well-being, our emotional and affective balance, and our ability to cope resiliently with life's ups and downs. It's a good idea to consult a psychologist as soon as you feel you're suffering psychologically, and can no longer manage or overcome your emotions.

Consulting a professional is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it's a sign of responsibility, courage and generosity towards ourselves and our loved ones.

Generally speaking, when faced with difficulties, consulting a psychologist or psychoanalyst can help you to move forward and find relief, answers and support, provided you feel the need to be accompanied and are aware that a step is necessary, as well as having the will to take this step. Indeed, it will be difficult to engage in therapy if the person consults against his or her will, commitment to therapy being one of the most important elements of success.

The analytical approach

The method of analytical psychotherapy, which is the one I propose, aims to go back to the origin - often unconscious and conflictual - of psychological disorders and to strengthen your defenses against these conflicts to help you manage them better and ensure that they no longer prevent you from fulfilling your potential, so that you can rediscover a better relationship with yourself and with others. Psychoanalysis isn't just about symptoms, it's about working in depth to unravel what's at the root of those symptoms, which doesn't necessarily mean that it involves lengthy treatment.  

Whatever type of support or treatment is right for you, the relationship of trust you develop with your "shrink" is essential. That's why I invite you to come and meet me at my practice for an initial introductory session, which does not commit you to anything other than agreeing to be listened to with kindness.